Skip to main content

The Drug That Killed River Phoenix

This article was going to be about a new drug I'm on called Duomine, but as I knew very little about River Phoenix (aka the vegan Jimmy Dean) I thought I'd swat up on what's really going on behind that brain-worm ditty. I'll talk about Duomine another time.

The song line I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix is from Aussie alternative band TISM's tasteless 1995 single (He'll Never Be An) Ol' Man River - and it's a bit cheap, frankly. The single's cover shows a mock-up of River's tombstone and was released shortly after his death. TISM were well-known for criticisin Imperial Hollywood and US pop culture, but they were masters when it came to borrowed interest marketing. More about these guys later.

River Bottom's Awkward Life

In 1944, River's mother Arlyn was born to a Jewish family living in the Bronx. When she finished school, she married a computer programmer but quickly grew bored of her secretarial life. In 1968, at 24, Arlyn dropped everything, deciding to hitch-hike her way across the US to Hollywood. Whilst hitch-hiking, she met John Lee Bottom, a lapsed Catholic from California and in 1970 River Jude Bottom was born. Seeking spiritual guidance, they got involved with the Children of God movement, a cult centred around the dubious practice of flirty fishing). The Children of God practiced Flirty Fishing AND the less subtle activity of Escort Servicing from 1974 until 1987 (when AIDS hit Western TV). When River was 7, the couple left the cult, saying that it had lost its way (!). During this time River never attended school. Nor did he ever go to school. Instead, he tap-danced and sang songs with his brother Joaquin and sisters Rain and Summer on the street corners of Westwood, LA - to earn money for the family. River became quite the tap-dancer. Arlyn got herself a job as a secretary working for NBC where she befriended Hollywood child agent, Iris Burton (nee "Burstein"). Iris happily represented the Bottom children (plus Drew Barrymore, Tori Spelling and later, Kirsten Dunst) and before long the tap-dancing and singing child actor career was generating most of the family's income.
"What's it going to take? Chernobyl wasn't enough. Exxon Valdez wasn't enough. A bloody war over oil wasn't enough."
~ River Phoenix
Besides a string of TV and film credits, River's 23yr life were also dedicated to various social, political and humanitarian causes. River won multiple acting awards and accolades and came to be known as "The Vegan Jimmy Dean" around Hollywood. One Halloween night, on a come-down from his last gruelling film shoot, he decided to hit the town. Not before snorting a massive combination of cocaine and heroin did he head for Johnny Depp's LA nightclub The Viper Room. As he approached the club door, River fell, suddenly convulsing on the sidewalk in full view of the crowd. Depp was inside, playing bass for his band, P. People tried to revive River, but couldn't find a pulse. He was gone.

Every Halloween up until 2004 (when Depp sold his Viper Room share) Depp closed the Viper Room in honor of River's passing. People blame his drug binge on the come-down from a shoot and excitement at heading for the most popular club in LA on Halldween. But River had already started dabbling with white drugs.

Enter Australian 80s Indi Band - "T.I.S.M."

If it wasn't for TISM's single, I wouldn't have remembered River. The catchy reference was modus operandi for This Is Serious Mum and like any self-respecting 80s rocker, TISM's front man "Ron Hitler-Barrassi" embraced controversy. Titles of TISM's songs were often wordplays created by mixing pop culture references with academic critique.

In 1993, Ron released the album "Australia The Lucky C@*t" which featured a Koala sucking a syringe painted on the cover in Australian artist Ken Done's style. The pop artist's lawyers threatened legal action over the artwork (signed by TISM in Ken Done style) and the matter was settled out of court. Ron's album was re-released with new artwork and titled Censored Due To Legal Advice.

Rock On, Ron!

After reading about River Phoenix's tragic demise, I feel some guilt. His legendary name, forever trapped in Ron's brain-worm is also how this bit of fluff started, too. I've done exactly the same thing as TISM by borrowing River's name for my title.

Actually, I've doubled the greed. I get to keep River's name in my blog title AND borrow TISM's lyrics. Touché... :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I've got a really good idea for a film . . .

Phil commented on that last piece. I forget that people actually read these things. I assumed you were all lazy and illiterate ;) Yes . . . as Phil says . . . we have taken time to write this screenplay. And it's depressing to think about it. Sometimes I feel like Marshall in Absolutely Fabulous . Marshall went to Hollywood 20 years ago to develop a screenplay with a studio. People in various episodes ask him how it's going. He usually has an actor attached, or a big producer, or an out-of-work director . . . No doubt Jennifer Saunders has met a few of these people . The industry is teaming with writers working on a screenplay. Until a screenplay becomes a film - it's only a blueprint - not considered an art form in itself. And yet it takes such a long time to write one. When people ask me what I do - I answer web designer . It's my knee-jerk, "pat" response. It's also less problematic and gets me more $work than if I say, "filmmaker".

The Three by Five Card Index System

Here's another approach to writing your screenplay. The screenwriter's friend. Introducing the infamous Three by Five Card Index System . Wow! How can I get one? In my case - I made it. What it amounts to is this: Three 90cm x 40cm sheets of chipboard hinged together so that the whole thing stands like a concertina on a table or floor. Every 5cm or so down, I have drawing-pinned small cardboard hinges (triangles if you will) made from old file dividers. These become placeholders for your cards. A couple of bunches of 3 inch by 5 inch index cards (available in packs of 100 at any newsagency) and there you have it. A sure fire way to make your screenplay bubble to the top of the pile . . . Not. But it's a tool and writers need their tools. Cool. How does it work? As you can see - each act has three mini-acts in it (fitting in with Australian script theorist Linda Heys' Second Act Story ). Or rather - going one step further and suggesting that all three acts have a begi